Mom's First Birthday in Mexico

Well, I had a birthday here too in June, and it was a big one, I turned 50. 

 

You'd think we would have done something for that.  Before the election I had wanted to go to the hotel inside the Mall of America and explore the shops and go to the indoor theme park.  It was the perfect low stress vacation idea where everything was guaranteed to be handicapped accessible for my mom.

BUT DID WE?  DID WE DO THIS?  DID WEEEEEEE?!

No!  Because assholes voted for Trump and our whole life got turned upside-down.  

So...think of it this way, for my 50th birthday I got to go to La Paz Mexico.  That's a trip, right?  Beach town.  Beautiful place.  Heck I even drove down the Malecon...

On the way to the fecking hospital to get my uterus cut out of my abdomen.  

Yeah.  That was my 50th birthday, y'all.  I had major surgery.  :sigh:

Oh well, now it was time for my mom's birthday in January.  So we invited our neighbors to go to Fumos with us.  Fumos is a super-fancy restaurant in La Paz.  We've been there several times.  We keep going back because I know they have parking.  

There's lots of other fancy restaurants in La Paz, but they're all on the beach.  And I don't know if they have parking.  I kind of think they don't.  Because everyone walks the malecon (boardwalk) and it's not really a car-centric area.  

And that's fine.  I could find a paid parking lot and then go to a fancy restaurant.  But how much walking is my mother going to do, y'know?  Will there be decent sidewalk the whole way for her walker?  Maybe, but maybe we have sand to cross to get to the front of the restaurant or something.  It's just better to go where we know.

And we invited our neighbors because I thought it would be a big treat for them.  Y'know, they make the average Mexican income.  I didn't think that they would have ever been to this expensive restaurant.

But that's my gringo brain.  Um...yeah.  They had just been there for their daughter's birthday a few months earlier.  -_-  It's like we get this idea that people are poor and we're so well off etc.  But, even poor people can save up for special occasions and order something not too expensive from the menu, so...GTFO.  Felt stupid.

The other thing:  I really wanted them to have a great dinner.  Enjoy themselves.  But the father DIDN'T WANT TO ORDER ANYTHING.  -_- He was like, Oh, my daughter's ordering a pizza I'll just have a slice of that.  I'm like, dude!  Get a steak!  Get the short ribs!  But no, he didn't want to cost me money.  

It's like this all the time.  You either get people like my cousins and aunt in Puerto Rico who are too proud to ask for money and when they really need it and you send them more than they asked for they get mad.  And it's like, why can't you let me enjoy helping you?  Why are you so proud!  I'm your niece, your cousin, I make a decent income.  WHY CAN'T I HELP YOU?  

They live in government housing on government assistance.  I bought my cousin Diana a car which really helped her and she's got her own house-cleaning business.  But her mom had her washing machine break and asked us for $150 to repair it.  We sent her $300.  Live a little.  Treat yourself.  She asked me to go through things step by step with her to explain how to send the extra back.  -_-

So Rudi my neighbor's husband doesn't want to order anything.  He won't order a mixed drink.  Won't order a beer.  I have to order a Jamaica water for him (very popular soft drink pronounced hi-may-ee-ka made from hibiscus flowers, tastes like a very light cranberry juice, and is super healthy for you, the tamarind water is also amazing and healthy).  

Then I just ordered him a skirt steak, because WTF.  And I felt like a bitch doing it because he just wanted to share his daughter's pizza and I'm forcing this expensive steak on him.  WHICH HE DIDN'T EVEN EAT!  Because it was medium rare and Mexicans like steaks well done.  

But his wife said, good, it's raw.  I can cook it and make tacos tomorrow.  -_- 

Yeah, they had a ton of leftovers.  But it was a bit tense also.  My neighbor's marriage isn't great and the two of them weren't talking.  Basically I had to invite the wife Elba separately from the husband Rudi.  They both showed up separately (I drove Elba and her daughters because she doesn't have a license plate on her car and they always crack down on that in the beginning of the year here.) 

Elba was okay with her husband coming.  She wanted him too.  She just didn't want to invite him because she wasn't talking to him.  So I did.  I have WhatsApp and a translator extension so it wasn't a problem.

Speaking of that, we were pulled over because we didn't have a license plate on the front of our car.  Just the USA plate in the back (which you're allowed to drive with here).  Very pleasant exchange.  Very friendly female cop.  No issues.  La Paz has a very low amount of police/National Guard corruption here.  We really lucked out. 

Part of me thinks of maybe exploring other areas of Mexico and seeing if there's somewhere else we want to settle, but La Paz is so nice.  We have everything we need here.  We have friends.  Our landlord asked us if we were going to stay in this apartment and we said yes, for at least another year if not more.  He said, great, because we're good tenants.  

The best part of the dinner was that they gave mom a free cake with a firecracker on it.  The second best thing were my neighbor's two daughters.  The youngest was dancing in her seat the whole time, so happy to get good food.  And the other one speaks English and does art for me.  Two great girls who are just great kids and have bright futures.

Anyway, we agreed that the dinner wasn't what we'd hoped for and next time it will just be me and mom together.  Oh well.

El Navidad (Christmas in Mexico)

 Welp, it's getting near Christmas time in Mexico.  The neighbors invited us for Christmas dinner.  Except, they invited us to have it in our house. 

They're making a second floor to their house, but it's not ready yet.  That means 80sq meters (two bedrooms, tiny living room/kitchen, 1 bath) for four people.  I've never been in their house, but they say they don't have any space.

I believe them, because we share a wall and I know my downstairs is the floorplan of their whole house.  This place would be too small for my mother and I if it were just the downstairs.  I can't imagine with two more people.

So we set up our little table and brought out folding tables to put in front of our couch.  Not needed.  We all ate at the small table, and it was fine.  The husband came late so we ate in shifts.

And we finally had birria!  My neighbor made the low spice version so my mom could eat it.

It's not actually Christmas today.  They are traveling to Sinoloa to visit family tomorrow, but they didn't want us to celebrate alone, so had another celebration for us.

Friends in Mexico are true friends.  It was fun.

Other news:

I found out I can get monthly soda/water delivery from Coca Cola Mexico.  Water jugs, water bottles, soda, and Topo Chico.  This is really a life-saver because we're constantly running out, and the stores never have enough.  It's good to have regular water jug delivery too because chasing the trucks that go by every once in a while for water sucked.

Other than that, not much to report.  We stay home most days.  I work.  It's not much different day to day from the USA, except I don't have to struggle with my pills, and when my mom needed a colonoscopy they saw us right away.  It was clear.  We'll do the rest of her 'make sure the cancer hasn't come back' tests next month.

This year I'm grateful for a new life in a new country where my federal tax is almost gone, I can get my medication easily, and my rent is cheap.  This year has been a blessing for us, and we are grateful.

Black Friday in Mexico

 So, at first I thought Black Friday was a different thing called 'Buen Fin' (good end) here.  There were stores advertising 'Buen Fin' sales.  It's a week of sales in the middle of November.  So I figured, okay, that must be Mexico's Black Friday.

Nope.  Buen Fin was thier own thing.  They *ALSO* do Black Friday here.  But they don't do Thanksgiving.

La Paz has a high gringo population.  All of Baja California does actually, both above and in my state, Sur.  You can't beat the benefit of being able to drive with your USA license plate all throughout the peninsula.

A lot of gringos settled in little beach colonies on the Pacific ocean or sea of Cortez.  But many made it all the way down to La Paz (and further South to Cabo, or Los Cabo the rich gringo area).

Still, turkey isn't really eaten much here.  They have turkey slices for sandwiches, and that's about it.  But...we have gringo stores.  Sams Club and Walmart.  I figured I'd find a turkey there.

Actually, the regular grocery story, Chedraui, had turkeys!  Fricking expensive $30 turkeys.  Is that what turkeys normally cost now in the USA?  I seem to remember being able to get a turkey this big for under $20 before.  It's just me and my mom, so a small one is fine...there really wasn't much selection.  Just 3 or 4 to pick from from a freezer section.

No stuffing.  I didn't check Walmart or online, but it wasn't in the Mexican grocery.  I could probably order it.  I don't know.  

At one point I pondered inviting our neighbors over to do Thanksgiving with us.  We'd have to do it in the back garden area.  That's a big undertaking for us, and I'd want to make pumpkin pies (no canned pumpkin here--just weird light brown 'sort of' pumpkins in the stores that don't make good pies).  And pecan pie, and all the normal Thanksgiving dishes to really show our culture.

But...lazy.  I'm still going to put together a dinner for the neighbor, but she can take it and eat it at her own house.  Maybe next year I'll plan something.  We have two neighbors we can invite actually...so...I'd need to get a big table and chairs.

The second neighbor friend is because we feed stray cats.  We've done it since we got here, so we're known as the 'cat people' on the block.  When people lose their cats they show up at our house.  We leave out dry food, and feed a 3-cat colony (along with several others who clearly have owners but like to 'eat out').  

So far we were able to get one lost kitty back to their owner.  He was easy to spot.  He had a cast on his leg.  So no doubt this wasn't a stray.  Anyway, we're friends with the neighbor who lost his cat now.  

Having neighbor friends is great because in Mexico they actually do leave packages with your neighbors when you're not home, and neighbors actually do give you the packages.  Very convenient!  The delivery men always call you on the phone too.  When has that ever happened in the US?  

I normally don't have to buy many gifts for Christmas. Just some stuff for my brother and his family, and stuff for a family I sponsor through a charity.  I've sponsored them for years and their kids have grown up, moved out, etc.  I don't know what gifts to buy them!  So I just send one big gift card.  They always appreciate it.

Letter from the Family

This year I have my neighbor, her husband, and her two daughters to get gifts for!  Man...Christmas was never so expensive.  But the mother cleans our house so she deserves a bonus, and one of the daughter is an 'intern' for my game company.  So...I'll get gift cards at least.

We've been here 8 months.  Life in Mexico is beyond anything we could have imagined.  I met another gringo the other day and he asked with a smile how I like it here.  Like he knew the answer...of course we love it!  This place is amazing.  

And to think...we waited so long.

Dentist in Mexico

 I feel bad constantly pointing out how much better my life is in Mexico, because people in the USA are suffering and there are a lot of people I care about there.  As some point it feels like this meme when I compare the Mexico to the USA:

And not everything is better here.  I guess I just stress the positives because I grew up being told that the USA was the best and it sucked everywhere else.  It makes you defensive when you find out you were lied to.

Today I had a dentist appointment and we did an egregious amount of shopping.  At the end of the day we just wanted some good food fast.  Like...drive-thru fast.

Mexico is just not a drive-thru culture.  That's not to say they don't have cars...they do, and in my area cars are as prevalent as they are in the USA.  It's just that they don't look for 'fast food'.  

They're not constantly in a hurry like we are in the USA.  And when they want 'convenient' food, there's plenty of taco stands (and hotdog stands, Elote/tamale stands, burger stands, shrimp stands, sushi/ceviche stands, etc.).

There is fast food where I live, but it's all USA imports.  And because we just wanted to go through a drive-thru and get something good to eat, that's what we were limited with.  

In our city there is one of each of these:  Mcdonalds, Subway, Little Ceasars, Carls Jr., KFC, WingStop. That's it.  Those are all the places that have drive-thrus.

In Tucson I could have enjoyed Taco Bell, Canes, Inn-and-Out, Koreabowl (or whatever it's called), El Pollo Loco, and the list goes on and on.  Choices on every corner.  Also I could get an 8 piece fried chicken from the grocery store, which was always a great option.  

Out here the drive-thrus tend to be clustered in the gringo areas.  It's not cheap food.  (Though I guess that's the same in the USA lately.)

We end up going for gringo options a lot and we shouldn't.  This area of Mexico is a very corn-tortilla centric food culture.  If you order Chinese food you'll get a stack of corn tortillas with it.  Food is just eaten with tortillas.  

But honestly?  I don't like corn tortillas.  Especially these pale ones that are so popular.  They seem raw to me.  And gritty.  I have European heritage and that means wheat products, and wheat tortillas.  They just taste so much better to me...but I don't need one to eat Chinese food with.

In our fridge were stacks of plastic bags filled with 20 corn tortillas (small ones) from all our delivery orders.  We just gave them all to our neighbor so she can feed them to her chickens recently.

But, ANYWAY.

Back to the good.  The dentist.

I went to the dentist because it hurt to brush one side of my teeth.  Nerve is exposed.  In the USA?  It would have been a root canal and a new crown.  For around $1,600, or probably more because it's been 3 years since my last dental work.

Here?  He painted some varnish on the tooth.  It wasn't a cavity.  I didn't need more than that.  He was super nice, too, and loved practicing his English with me.

We've been to the dentist in Mexico before, but it was on the border in a town known for dental tourism.  My mom still got a nice zircon bridge for $3,000 in 2013 or so, but it was very pushy and up-selly.  Kind of like USA dentists...who push you to get work you might not really need, or more expensive work compared to what might be a better cheap option.

I want to mention one more thing on the 'Mexico is better' side.  Next to my house is a pharmacy that I can walk to for my antidepressants, painkillers, and other medicines.  I'd been getting Desvenlafexine from there.  It was 500 pesos for a one month supply...really expensive for Mexico, but I needed it so whatever.

Yesterday I went to get the pills and I got a two month supply for 300 pesos ($15).  I was like: what the heck?

The worker said that someone started buying Desvenlafexine here a while a go so they asked corporate to send them the generic to save them money.

ME.  I was the one who started buying that there a while ago.  THEY GOT ME CHEAPER PILLS FOR ME.  ;_;

I love Mexico so much.
 

Halloween in Mexico

 Alas, no trick or treaters so far.  I say 'so far' because Halloween goes from Oct 31 to Nov 2 because Dios de la Muertos adds on to it and is the bigger holiday here.

Of course, people aren't letting kids run around at night here, because memories of the cartel in our area still have families on guard.  The only place where they were trick or treating was on the brightly lit 'Malecon' or boardwalk where it had been arranged.  

That didn't stop me from putting out a plastic pumpkin full of candy on our gate.  It's right under the light so everyone going by could see it.

No kids, however, I notice all the candy would disappear every time a delivery man came.  They would swipe all the candy I put outside of the pumpkin into their pockets right in front of me with big grins:  Para los ninos!  (For my kids!).  

We used to leave out treats for delivery men in the USA, and even a fridge with cold drinks.  It was a more popular with the javalinas than the delivery men to be honest.  But I see here that the delivery men love extra perks!  So I'm going to keep free candy and stuff outside for them.  Like...I never saw this enthusiasm with the USA treats.  Here:  Mom or Dad can be a hero with a pocket full of candy for the kids.  Muy bien!

Now here's a video of Frijole and our elder cat Scrappy:

In other news, my mom and I have a guy for old lady pains now.  He's an orthopedic surgeon who we see at this private hospital we go to for any medical things.  He gave my mom a shot in her shoulder that took away her pain for three months.  She went back for knee shots (I paid my neighbor to take her because I was super busy with work) and then yesterday we both came in for knee shots.  

I got two cortisone shots in my knees which got rid of my knee pain, but made my nerve damage pain from my bone cancer surgery more noticeable.  My mom got a shot which was a gel to go in between the bones and replace the missing cartilage so it's not 'bone on bone' anymore. It's like a mini-knee replacement surgery so she can get by for the next 6-8 months without surgery.  (Mega long needle and she needed local sedation for it.)

Price?  $525.  And they didn't give us an itemized printout like last time, which is sus.  I worry this guy might over charge us because he has some bad reviews from gringos who were charged more than locals.  But whatever.  It's still cheaper than the USA would be for me.  

My knees are much better, and my mom is going to do this instead of a risky knee replacement surgery.  I say it's a win.

What isn't a win is that we found an ATM that let's us withdraw cash from my mom's US Bank account, and on top of the ATM fee fucking US Bank charges her $18-$23 per withdrawal!  I wanted to move money to my non US Bank account so I could save her fees but it's a hassle and she loves having her own cash now.  It's also saved our ass a few times when we needed to pay cash.

Like in Sams Club recently.  I told you that I had my neighbor drive my mom to her Dr. appointment.  I gave my mom my credit card in case the bill was high.  When she got back she gave me the wrong credit card (same company) but this was HER card that was locked.  

And we went to Sams Club and neither this card nor my back up card would work.  The backup card just doesn't work on their shitty card readers no matter how they try to stick a folded piece of paper in with it.  And my main card was wrong.  So we had $450USD of groceries and no card was working.  

Fortunately we came up with the $9000 pesos, but only because my mom had cash for me.  It would have been really humiliating otherwise.  

I would hate not to be able to go to Sams Club.  I know I'm spoiled but sometime you want a rack of ribs and not weird cuts of meat that are really hard to chew.  😞  

I make a lot of money, why can't I have some luxury?  It can't always be about saving for the future.  I deserve to live now.