The Birthday Party

 We're in Mexico not 5 months and we get invited to a birthday party.  Our neighbor's daughter was turning 13.  So not a little kid, but not an adult.  We were surprised it was 13 because when I asked how old back when we first met she said 13.  But apparently you start saying your age when it's the year you'll be that age?  I don't know.  But it wasn't a Quincenera.  Just a nice birthday party.

We were invited THE NIGHT BEFORE THE PARTY.  Like...what?  That's not enough time to get a gift!  Our neighbor Elba said no gifts.  She'd held a party for her older daughter's quince and no one showed up.  She thought because they didn't want to bring gifts.  So she said this time, no gifts.  

But there were gifts, so I'm glad I whipped something together.

My neighbor rented a party venue that had a swimming pool.  It was nice.  Outdoors, but with big powerful fans, a fully covered seating area, and the pool had tarps to semi-block the sun.  It was less than a mile from our home.

I looked it up and the face book said you could rent a weekday party for only $120usd.  Wow.  

I didn't know what to do about a gift.  I figured I'd put a 500 peso bill ($25) in an envelope and call it a day.  BUT.  I had bought some young adult books in Spanish because I wanted to start reading in Spanish. One of them, The Princess and the Cheese Sandwich, was still shrinkwrapped.  BOOM!  An age appropriate brand new book.  We wrapped it in a wrestling poster.  Done and Done.

Except I'd also ordered two boxes of mini-skittles.  So I brought them too and she was able to use them as party favors.  :proud:

I was worried this daughter would suffer what her sister did, but there were 50 people.  The kids played in the pool.  They paired off for slow songs and danced together in the pool  They were so cute.

My mom and I sat at a table with the mother, our neighbor and her husband.  She served pizza and ceviche (we ate the pizza), Agua Fresca which is a drink made from Jamaica leaves that tastes like cranberry juice to me, Sangria the non-acoholic soda that's popular here, and Fresca soda which is shockingly not diet here.

I ate three cupcakes and a little cheesecake cup thing that was super creamy.  We stayed for hours talking and joking with the other adult guests.  I brought a bottle of wine and my neighbor and her husband drank it with me.  Then they took out another bottle of sparkling wine that looked familiar...because I had given it to them a while ago when I bought multiples of it and didn't like it.  Lol.

A very nice party.  I wish I'd had more notice so I could have gotten the girl one of those plushies everyone is crazy about.  Le Sigh.  

No pinata.  ;_;  She's too old.  Ah well.

  

Getting Groceries in Mexico

So...I could get by on $200 a month for groceries.  If I did like my Mexican neighbor and went to the pescaria (fish shop), fruiteria, and the discount Walmart called Aurrora Bodega.  If we made corn tortillas and other assorted corn things our main starch.  (Order Chinese food and get a pile of corn tortillas with it...the people here eat everything in a corn tortilla, and tortas, and tostadas, and the biggest cornception:  Elote Street Food:  A bag of corn chips, sliced open, with corn masa put on it, with grilled corn with onions on that, and hot sauce. CORNCEPTION.)

A man with a cart comes by selling this every evening. 

Like my neighbor I could Make eggs (they're cheap here and not refrigerated) and beans the chief proteins along with the weekly fish if there's a good catch and good deals (literally have the fishermen walk in with their dripping fish nets, lots of oyster beds here too).  And by the way, that's her budget for a family of four.  

There's bags of dried textured tofu here for $20.  That's $20 pesos.  So $1.  And you put it in spaghetti bolanase and you can't tell it's not beef.  These bags are not refrigerated.  And I bet I'd like it if I tried it instead of the 400 gram ground beef tubes I buy for $50 ($2.50).

And all the videos and guides here said the same thing, groceries are cheap--if you shop like a local.

But do we shop like locals?  No.  No we don't.  

We just went to fricking Sams Club and spent $4,400 on American groceries like the spoiled brats we are.  That's $220USD if anyone's counting, and already over budget for eating like a local.

We have to have our stupid diet sodas (which I have to order online because you can only find two liters of coca cola light or coke zero around here and we want convenient cans or small bottles).  We have to have meat centric meals of steak, chicken, or ribs.  And when we buy fish it's the fricken frozen tilapia we used to buy in the USA.  I still haven't been to a pescaria yet!  And there's about three on the way to the drive to the Chedraui!

(As an aside, we went out for lunch today at one of the many seafood restaurants.  This one was introduced to us by that same neighbor so we went back.  I ordered something...wasn't sure what...and I got a whole bass fried and open with rice, potato salad, and greens salad.  It was delicious.  I picked that fishbone clean.)

We also expect to have black cherries this time of year, which I gorge on because I love them so much, and crunchy grapes, prunes for my mother, piles of cat food pouches to feed the strays, Splenda for my coffee, lots of sugar free chewing gum, and meat, meat, meat.

On top of this, when we do shop at the Mexican grocery stores we don't go to Aurrora Bodega or Casa Ley like my neighbor.  No.  We go to Chedraui, the most high end Mexican grocery store in my 2 kilometer range.  

Chedraui is really nice to shop at.  Clean.  Wide open aisles without stuff piled all over.  Everything neat and organized.  But never come on the 1st or 15th because that's when everyone in Mexico gets paid and the lines are LITERALLY an hour long.

It's the nearest place with ATMs to get cash out for the month.  So we always end up just shopping there because we have to go there for cash anyway.  But we can't resist the monthly Sams Club haul, despite the traumatic memories of my mom falling there last month.  (I'll never park in that section again.)

Chedraui is a warehouse size store where we also bought some furniture and electronics.  It's owned by Walmart, because of course it is.  So is Aurrora Bodega.  But the prices are still cheaper than in the USA.  

I say this, but Mexican prices are becoming so ordinary for me I really think I'm blanking on if there's any discount.  Sam's Club does have lower prices in Mexico than in the USA, but not THAT much lower.  I mean two pints of cherries is still $7, a double package of pork ribs will still run $15.  

And I could just buy all my produce at Aurrora Bodega.  Yes, there's fruit flies, and some rotten produce, but you can still find the good stuff and manage.  Or better yet, I could go to a fruiteria right?  

Well, I went to one and got some nice mangos, but it was the end of the day and all the bins were empty.  Like you have to hit the little stores early it seems

I went to a carcineria (butcher) within walking distance to my house (there's SO MUCH in walking distance!) but what do I buy?  Prime rib.  And it was $36 and smelled a little off.  But...the meat in the grocery stores always smell a little off to me, too.  I'm realizing it's not that it's going bad, but that they don't douse it with chlorinated water like in the USA.  It's probably healthier for me too.  Fewer nitrates for coloring here too.

Anyway, if we weren't spoiled we would keep going to the gringo side of town for Sams Club and Dairy Queen.  We wouldn't be importing Science Diet cat food for Scrappy.  And we wouldn't be getting our Bimbos at the Chedraui instead of the Aurora Bodega (hey I think I finally spelled it right!).  Bimbos being loafs of bread of course.

But anyway, I blew $220 on Sams Club and that leaves $280 for the rest of the month because my mom and I get a $500 grocery budget.  More than twice as much as my neighbor, for half as many people.  SHAME ON US!

Anyway...I'm going to walk to the Oxxo now to get that fucking menthol candy I'm re-addicted to.  That's all for now! 

Seeing a Movie in Theaters in Mexico

Okay, so I heard the new Superman movie was liberal trash, so of course I needed to go see it.  I went today with my mom, and LOVED it.  The last Superman movie with the Henry Calvill was good (I like that he was arrested and imprisoned because I'm kinky like that) but this was was superb!  

James Gunn let us fill in the blanks instead of telling us the same story we already know, and Guy Garder of the Justice League was in it!!  I used to read Justice League West just for him because he was an incredible asshole, and I loved him.  It was so great to recognize him.  And I loved that there were other heroes and people were all like, yeah, we know.  Without the whole coming out to humanity as a superhero shit.

Anyway, there are several movie cinemas in my city.  My phone brought me to the wrong one first, and I just left.  It's in a crowded strip mall that's hard to park in and has nasty construction blocking one side of the four lane road.

I went to the gringo side of town instead, the mall with the Apple Store, Dairy Queen, Carls Junior, and KFC.  Still out doors, but with tarps blocking the sun.  Very clean and nice to walk around.

I got there at noon and realized I was too early.  They have two versions of the movie running:  English with Spanish subtitles, or a Dubbed version.  YAY!  So I can still see the movies I want in English.

We walked around and spent too much money on crap because everything in that mall is American prices.  And yet, we were the only gringos.  There's plenty of rich Mexicans with designer clothes and designer purses.  They're doing just fine, thank you.

Finally we went back to the theater, again too early.  In the USA if you're too early they don't let you in until the current showing is over.  Here they DGAF.  So we got to watch the dubbed ending of Superman before watching the subtitled version.

The theater was nice.  They have plastic trays that all theaters really should have for carrying popcorn and drinks.  The popcorn side is deep, so that if you spill it, it stays in the tray.  Very nice.  At the end of the movie I saw everyone obediently bringing their trays to the trashcan, dumping them, and piling them beside it.  

Also, the door to leave back into the lobby area was open...so I was able to get to the bathrooms fast before our showing started.  I brought my ticket just in case, but no one cared.

Now for the issues:  No handicapped seats.  There's an area directly in front of the screen, but you're craning your neck and the picture looks terrible.  And yet, that's where one woman in a wheelchair had to sit.  If you can't climb the stairs you have no choice.  

My mom commiserated with her in the bathroom.  She hated that she had to watch it there.  Said her neck hurt.  My walker-bound mom agreed.  They need handicapped seating that you can access that isn't just the first fucking row.  It's actually closer than the first row, because she couldn't sit in the seat, she had to park in front of a seat.

Next time I got to a movie here I'm going to see if there's any theaters that do have handicapped access.

But this time, I had to bring my stuff upstairs to our assigned seats (no way we were going to sit right in front).  Then I had to carry mom mom's shopping bag laden walker all the way up, and sit in a seat that had space beside it on the first landing so we could fold it up by her seat.  Then my mom, who was blind in the theater's darkness, had to slowly climb up the stairs and be guided to a proper seat.  Annoying, but worth it to get a good view of the movie.

Also annoying is there's no ticket stand.  We only saw computer screens that were a nightmare to use.  I swear a witch cursed me to not be able to use touch screens.  These touch screens were especially obnoxious because you had to guide a mouse cursor to where you wanted to click and the thing wouldn't fucking move.  I asked for help.  I think he said to go to the food stand to buy tickets with cash, but he ended up helping me finish on the terminal.

Now for the food stand.  There's only one size of soda, a normal tall cup.  Probably a medium in the USA.  And it's $60 which is $3.  I think that's cheap for movie soda.  They have Taki's covered hot dogs, candy of both Mexican and American origin (no Jr. Mints, but some Peanut M&Ms) and Palomitas which is popcorn.  

There were three different popcorn bins.  Red popcorn, which I assume is with Doritos dust or spicy Doritos dust or something.  Yellow popcorn called Mantequilla (butter in Spanish, but they didn't put extra butter on it).  And caramel corn.  Wow.  Also it didn't stink.  There was no scent of popcorn luring you in.

To the side there was also a Frappe stand (crushed ice caramel coffees, crushed ice fruit drinks and other flavors, including cajeta which means 'little box' so I have no idea what it was).  This stand also sold crepes with cream cheese/fruit, or nutella, or chocolate and more.  

Kitty corner to this stand, was a softserve ice cream stand with waffle cones.  And a few arcade games.

Okay so we're in the movie.  There were some movie previews, but also two 'talk show/advertisements' of a man and a woman talking about the movie and a few other movies, making jokes and bantering, then working in commercials for deoderant and the concessions.  They had two shows before the movie.

We saw a Smurfs movie preview, but they call them a completely different word, and then...something amazing.

It's a cartoon.  Disney quality, but very dark and serious.  It shows the Aztecs and the Conquistadors coming to brutalize them.  Cortez is a main character, but half his face is burned so he wears a covering over half of it (like...TWO FACE?) It was all in Spanish so I only got bits and pieces, but the Aztec warrior goes into one of their temples asking an Aztec bat god for help.  The tides start to turn, but then the conquistadors sends a crazy murderer with clown makeup after the Aztecs...kind of like the JOKER?  Then we get the title...and Batman music...BATMAN AZTECA.  OMG.  I FUCKING WANT TO SEE THIS SO BAD!  Is this in the USA too?  It seems like a Mexican only cartoon.  Oh!  I hope they have an English version.

And then the movie, which was loud but great.  I'll definitely see it on streaming a second time.  Afterwards, I struggled to haul my food tray and my mom's walker down the stairs, while she worked her way down slowly holding the handrail.

So...yeah.  Good and bad.  And the tickets for the matinee for me and mom mom were $10usd.  Can't beat that!

I Love Living in Mexico

 We've been here 5 months now and it's safe to say we love it.  It wasn't a mistake.  It was a great decision to come here, and the amount of stress I have seems like it's halved since I came.

Part of my stress was always financial, despite the fact that I make mid six figures on a bad year, I still stressed out all the time, because I have no children.  The only thing to take care of me in old age is my money, and I imagined I'd need at least $16,000 a month to pay for good care by the time I needed it.  So...I was working my ass off, scrimping and saving, to max my IRA and 401k as much as I could every year.

Here:  it's fine.  I could retire now and I'd be okay.  I no longer have the fear of being left in my filth at a bad nursing home.  

But there are of course, some issues.

After my surgery I got a bad infection.  Puss was leaking from my abdominal wound and internal wound.  I took a round of antibiotics and figured I was good.  But I wasn't.  Because I'm showering in contaminated water.  

Today is the first day I did the infection odor check and it was clear.  This is after many days on several antibiotics.  I think it finally cleared.

That doesn't mean I'm healed.  I popped a stitch because I needed to go shopping and take my 76yo mom to the hospital after a fall in the Sams Club parking lot.  She was okay.  She literally fell hard on the concrete, bounced on her hip, and was okay.  Thank God it was the metal replaced hip.  

We have to be more careful.  I was drenched with sweat and desperate to sit in the car that day.  I walked away from her while she tried to get the loaded grocery cart off the curb.  I fucked up, and it could have cost me everything.  Thank God she's okay.

What happens if you fall in a Mexican Sams Club parking lot?  A flood of workers come to you, clean up all the stuff that fell out of your cart.  Lift your mother to her feet, and help her to the car.  I love that about Mexico.  

Anyway, as I was saying, I popped a stitch and it's that spot that still hasn't healed.  Hopefully soon.  And hopefully before a new infection sets in.  I'm out of alcohol wipes and need to buy some more.

Anyway, someone I knew from the USA had the great idea of trying to send me something illegal in Mexico.  And for weeks I was terrified that we were going to get arrested and deported.  That didn't happen, but it showed me how much this life means to me.  This is my home, and I will not give it up without a fight.  

Mexico is a better, less stress filled life, and I love it here.  I will fight to stay with every ounce of my being.  This is my country now, and I love it.

Having Surgery in Mexico Part 2

I am 2 days post surgery.  I needed to have my uterus out due to cancer running in the family, gigantic fibroids, and ovarian cysts (took those out too).  I gave 'birth' cesarean style to a 2.5 kilo diseased uterus. 

I knew this surgery was in my future, but I didn't see it as urgent.  Just as long as I got it out before it became cancerous.  

The state of my uterus said different here.  The fibroids were so large that I couldn't have a typical hysterectomy that can be an out-of-office procedure.  I had to have my abdomen cut open to get it out.  And I had a very suspicious 4 inch long cervical polyp (a bane to my existence for ten years now).

This got me sent to an oncologist to proceed with the surgery.  Another complication was that I've had two surgeries previously on my abdomen to remove my large intestine (due to ulcerative colitis).  This meant I had 'adhesions' and needed a gastroenterologist present for the surgery.

I had a friend in the USA who's daughter was a doctor who made a much higher salary than the typical doctor.  This is because she'd become a 'doctor to the rich'.  A specialized doctor who gave VIP service outside of the regular medical system in the USA.

I bring this up because I feel like that's the service I just received in Mexico, but for a fraction of the cost.  In fact, the cost was less than what I would have paid in the USA WITH insurance.  I had Obamacare, a Silver Plan, and it had been so gutted my out of pocket max was $12,000, and this was despite paying $460/month insurance premiums.

I have no doubt this surgery would have reached my out of pocket max with the 30% I was liable for and other copayments.  In Mexico the surgery, hospital stay, anesthesiologist, and  gastroenterologist was just under $4,500.

EDIT:  It was another $500 to get my pathology results.  So make it around $5k overall 

But here's the kicker.  This was for the VIP private medical care they have in Mexico.  Many of the headaches I'd have to deal with in the USA, despite paying the exorbitant price, were not had here.  For instance:

1. I didn't have to wait to make my initial appointment with an 'in network' doctor.  I just went to the private hospital here and they made an appointment for me.  They also did the initial bloodwork and ultrasound that day.  No lines, no waiting.

2.  I didn't have to fight with insurance to get the surgery covered.  I didn't have to delay for weeks while dealing with that headache.

3.  I didn't have to fight with appointment bookers to get a date for my surgery.  I've had this be nightmarish before in the USA.  The red tape and hassle is enormous.

4.  I didn't have to worry about out-of-network bullshit costs being added to the bill when I'm half out of it on the operating table and don't know what I'm signing.

And I will say, without a doubt, a better experience is what I got.  Consider this:  in the USA there seems to always be staffing issues.  You have a nurse and nurse assistant assigned to your room, but they'll be the only two people for the entire floor. 

And often there are people in much worse shape than you.  You don't want to bother them, but when you have no choice, it's a long wait.  

I've even had situations where the harried nurse will just come and shut off the button without asking what you needed.  This happened to my mom after her hip replacement.  They left her in a urine soaked bed and I had to get her out of there.

In Mexico?  Staffing isn't a problem in the private medical system.  I was beset by what seemed like 10 workers all getting me ready for surgery.  Two people at my arm putting in the IV, two more at my legs wrapping them up so I don't get clots, several others explaining things to my mom (my translator) and setting up the room for me.

In Mexico, in the private system, you almost have TOO many workers.  They were always fast to come to the room when we needed something as if they wanted something to do.

Also, the doctor came twice a day.  In the morning and evening.  I feel like in the USA you're lucky to get to seem them once a day.  And forget it if it's a weekend.

Everything went so smoothly.  I've never had a discharge from a hospital this fast.  It's always a nightmare waiting for someone to get out the IV and for the doctor to do your paperwork.  

Not so this time.  When my mom showed up I was already in the wheelchair ready to go.  And there were plenty of staff available to take me down.  Like the woman almost argued with the guy to let her do it.  Very efficient.

There was no crowding.  Only one person to a room, which isn't uncommon in the USA, but there wasn't waiting for a room to open up, or being in a gurney in the hallway since there's just no place to put you (happened to me before).  The private medical system in Mexico is not a '12 hours in the ER waiting room' situation.  

That's not to say everything was perfect, but the pros outweigh the cons by a mile.  I was eager to have the surgery here rather than the USA.  I knew it would be a better experience.

Some of the cons:

After the initial appointments I discussed in my previous post, it was off to another private hospital to actually have the surgery.  This wasn't the Atlas Hospital I'd started the process with.  It was at the Maria Luisa de la Pena Sanatorio, a Catholic hospital.  

This hospital was great, and don't mistake my nitpicking as not being happy with the service I received there.

The first issue:  no elevator.  I had to go upstairs to my room.  My mother was with me and had to climb steep stairs.  I asked how I was going to get down from there after the surgery.  They said they'd take me on a wheelchair.  

At the time I thought the wheelchair would be carried down those stairs, but they actually had a ramp at the back parking lot, so all good.  But it was annoying for my handicapped mom to have to climb stairs.

I remember in the past and not so distant past getting little welcome kits in the hospital.  A pitcher with ice and disposable individually wrapped cups, footies with elastic tread, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and sometimes it's all in a kidney shaped plastic bowl which is great for puking into if you need to.

In Mexico they gave me a roll of toilet paper, a bar of soap, and a large bottle of water.  Again, not a big deal.

Next, the call button was on the wall behind my bed.  There wasn't a wire going to the bed with a call button.  When I mentioned I wouldn't be able to press it, they moved the bed sideways and lifted it up so I could reach it.  All good.

The toilet was low and small, and the handicapped rail was also small.  There was no emergency call button in the bathroom.  Meh.  It's fine.

There was dried blood on the hard plastic guardrail of the bed.  I had wipes with me so my mom cleaned it.  Meh, that's life.

The IV hung on the actual bed on a hook that was attached.  This made going to the bathroom a little annoying since I had to carry everything in my arms when I had multiple IVs going.  But I liked that the price stickers were right on every IV they gave me.  Those prices matched the bill at the end.  Kind of cool.

Here's a big annoyance in Mexico:  Oxycontin, Codeine, and Fentanyl are all banned here.  I love my tramadol, but seriously?  I needed something strong after being cut open.  I can't have NSAIDS due to bleeding that happens in my false-bowel.  I was prescribed fricking tramadol and an NSAID despite telling the doctor I can't have them.  😑 I didn't realize what it was until I looked it up online.  Annoying, but I was able to stop before any harm was done.

I feel that getting cut open means getting a pile of good painkillers, y'know?  I earned those.  But whatever.

They do have sufficient IV painkillers like buprenorphine and I had an epidural in my back.  When it finally ran out I was in terrible pain, sweating like crazy.  But it's my own fault because I'd wanted to go home a day early and tried not to ask for anything for pain because I knew they'd keep me.  I ended up having to stay the prescribed two days.  Cest la vie.  

Digression:

To be honest, my pain was from weird cramping on my side rather than the incision.  I don't know why this surgery was so much easier to recover from than my two colectomy related surgeries.  I was able to get up and walk around the next day, and not with hisses of pain and wincing.  It hurt, but not terribly.  

When I had my colon out they stapled me shut (a horrible thing to do to someone, especially for the rectal wound) and forced me up the day after so I had staples flying out of me and opening up my wound.  The epidural fell out and I remember praying for death in the bed because I was in so much pain.  I was forced to walk and every step was like a stab to the gut.

My neighbor (bless her) came to drive me home and gasped when she saw me stand up and walk to my shoes like it was nothing.  She'd had two cesareans and expected me to be a mess.  I was mobile and didn't want to be in the wheelchair.  She kept telling my mom how astonished she was.

And I was too.  What was different?  Yes, they actually used stitches instead of staples, score one point for Mexico, and the cut was not going above the naval.  Still...I expected I should be in terrible pain.  

I was thinking it's because I'd lost weight since then, but my neighbor is skinny and still had horrendous pain from her cesareans.  

The only other thing I can think of is that I have a lot of abdominal muscles.  My stomach is hard with them.  This is due to 24 years of having to push really hard to go to the bathroom from the colectomy.  Removing my rectum meant sewing me up tight.  So an abdominal workout every time I go to the bathroom.  Which is frequent because I have no colon.  So ten minutes after every meal I'm going.  Maybe that's why this wasn't a nightmare of pain?

Anyway, this was the first time I was explained how to use the buttons to get the guardrails down on the bed, and to move the bed up and down.  Like not sitting up, but actually raising it.  I know in the USA they don't want you to know how to unlock the guardrails.  In Mexico, personal responsibility is huge and they gave me that option.  They treat people like adults here.

There was a couch/bed in the room for my mom (also something you get a lot in the USA) and she slept there with me the first night.  I didn't make her go through that the second night.  It's scary not to speak the language, but I managed to get by.  I'm able to speak a lot of Spanish now and there's always Google translate if I'm desperate.  All the workers were fast to take out their phones to translate for me too.

I think I covered everything.  I hope this is the last 'necessary' surgery I have in my life, but I'd go for a tummy tuck, lipo, or plastic surgery in the future here no problem.  (Of course I'd research the doctors first.)  

The private healthcare service in Mexico is worth the trip.  Worth the money.  And is a much better experience than what you get in the USA.